Friday, August 15 – 40+0
Due date and no signs of labor. This is my second child, and since I was induced the first time, it is very important to me that labor starts on its own this time. Throughout my pregnancy, I have thought that statistically it cannot be true that you can be induced twice! Now I am starting to get nervous that it might be possible, but I really do not want that. I would so much like to have a normal birth! I am very emotional and have been throughout my pregnancy. I have been going to the midwife with three other pregnant women who were all due in the same week as me – all three of them have given birth now and I feel so left out!
Wednesday, August 19 – 40+4
I have arranged to have brunch with a friend, and while I am waiting for her at the café, I text another friend who is also heavily pregnant but is not due until tomorrow. She texts back to say that she has just given birth! I just want to cry, and I do when I get home. It feels like my body isn't working, and I'm angry at myself for not even being able to get labor started! I feel left behind and useless... But now I don't know anyone else who can give birth before me!
Friday, August 22 – 41+0
I show up at the hospital for a checkup. I get a strip test, am examined, and scanned. Everything is fine, and I am offered membrane stripping, which I accept. It hurts, but the midwife is able to loosen the membranes, so that's a positive sign!
In the evening, I have many strong contractions that continue throughout the evening, so much so that at one point I think it's going to happen tonight too, because I haven't had any contractions otherwise. Unfortunately, it all goes away again...
Monday, August 25 – 41+3
Second checkup at the hospital. Everything still looks fine, and I drive home again and wait. I have been given an appointment for induction in two days, as the midwife recommends it and because I can't bear to wait and think about it any more. I am beginning to realize that it will end with another induction, but I hope until the last minute that it will start on its own. I even go to a reflexologist to see if that might get things going?…
Wednesday, August 27 – 41+5
Grandma arrived last night to look after our son, and my husband and I got up early because we have to be at the hospital at 7:30 a.m. for induction. When we arrive, we are told that the maternity ward is full, even their spare room is occupied. So they actually want to send us home again, but because I am part of a special midwife program and therefore have ‘my own’ midwife we can call, we are allowed to stay and wait for a delivery room to become available. I have a strip test done and am examined. I am 2 cm dilated, so they can induce labor by breaking my water. We pass the time waiting for a room to become available in the delivery ward by reading old magazines and eating breakfast.
At 9 a.m., the midwife comes in and says that the reserve room has become available, but there is no bathtub and it is generally not as well equipped as the other delivery rooms. I just want to give birth, so even though I would really like to use the bathtub, I say yes, thank you, so we can get started!
At 9:20 a.m., the midwife pierces the amniotic sac, and then we wait again. We are still in a room at the maternity clinic, and after an hour, the contractions slowly begin (and I suddenly remember clearly how contractions feel and think, God, how stupid it is to ask for contractions! The contractions quickly become regular and stronger. It is very hot in the room we are in, so I stand right by the door furthest away from the windows and sunshine. After a couple of hours, the midwife comes back and examines me, and I am three centimeters dilated. She asks if I want her to call my midwife, and I say yes, even though I'm not sure if it's too early. My midwife arrives at 1:15 p.m., and we are moved to the delivery room that is waiting for us. It really is a spare room/storage room! However, there is a birthing bed just inside the door and a private toilet, which is also filled with all kinds of equipment, but you can just back up to the toilet. I don't care about any of that, though. The only thing that matters is that it's cool in there because the sun is on the other side of the building (hallelujah!). I'm leaning on my husband during the contractions and during one of the breaks I ask him if it hurts when I lean on him. He looks at me strangely and says that maybe that's not what I should be thinking about. I am so present and involved in everything, unlike my first birth. It's fantastic that I have breaks between contractions where I can actually talk to the midwife and my husband. At one point, my midwife tells me that unless I want to give birth standing up, I need to lie down. I practically jump onto the bed, as I absolutely do not want to give birth standing up. I lie on my side and the contractions are powerful, so powerful that I scream in pain. I am surprised at how crazy the pushing contractions feel and am overwhelmed by them. But at the same time, it's great that I'm just present and can actually feel the pressure (I couldn't the first time). However, I quickly become afraid that the pushing phase will drag on like the first time and am very attentive to whether he is moving. I feel like it takes a long time to push him out because I'm nervous about it, but in reality, it only takes 12 minutes from the start of the pushing phase until he's out. I'm surprised and relieved when he's born and the midwife asks my husband what time it is, because the clock in the room has stopped (!). He was born at approximately 3:07 p.m.
I am completely elated after the birth because it was an (almost) natural birth and because it went exactly as I had dreamed it would. And then, of course, I have a wonderful little son (3410 g and 53 cm). We decide to stay at the hospital and have dinner, after which we drive home to grandma and the proud big brother. At night, the four of us sleep together in our bed, and I am so happy that everything turned out the way I wanted and that we could come home right away, even though it was an induction.