Friday 15.08 – 40+0
Due date and no signs of labor. This is my second child and since I was induced the first time it’s very important to me that labor starts on its own this time. Throughout the pregnancy I’ve thought statistically it can’t happen twice! Now I’m starting to get nervous that it might, but I really don’t want that. I so badly want a natural birth! I’ve been very emotional throughout the pregnancy. I attended midwife sessions with three other pregnant women who all had due dates in the same week as me – all three have given birth now and I feel so left out!!
Wednesday 19.08 – 40+4
I arranged to have brunch with a friend and while I wait for her at the café I text another friend who is also very pregnant but isn’t due until tomorrow. She replies that she just gave birth! I just want to cry and I do when I get home. It feels like my body isn’t working and I’m angry at myself that I can’t even manage to start labor! I feel overtaken and useless… But now I don’t know anyone left who will give birth before me!
Friday 22.08 – 41+0
I go to the hospital for an overdue pregnancy check. They run a strip, examine and scan me. Everything is perfectly fine and I’m offered a membrane sweep, which I accept. It hurts, but the midwife manages to loosen the membranes, so that’s a positive sign!
In the evening I have many strong Braxton Hicks that continue all evening, so much that at one point I think it will happen tonight since I’ve hardly had any before. Unfortunately it all subsides again…
Monday 25.08 – 41+3
Back for a second overdue check at the hospital. Everything still looks fine and I go home and wait. I’m scheduled for induction in two days because the midwife recommends it and I can’t bear waiting and worrying any longer. I begin to accept that it will end with another induction, but hope until the last moment it will start on its own. I even go to a reflexologist to see if that might trigger something?…
Wednesday 27.08 – 41+5
Grandma arrived last night to look after our son and my husband and I got up early to meet at the hospital at 7:30 for induction. When we arrive we’re told the maternity ward is full, even the reserve room is occupied. They’d normally send us home, but because I’m in a special midwife scheme and have “my own” midwife we can call, we are allowed to stay and wait for a birth room to free up. I have a strip done and am examined. I’m 2 cm dilated so they can induce by artificially rupturing the membranes. The waiting time until a delivery room is free is spent reading old magazines and eating breakfast.
At 9 the midwife comes in and says the reserve room has become available, but there’s no bathtub and it’s generally not as well equipped as the other delivery rooms. I just want to give birth, so even though I’d prefer a bathtub I say yes so we can get started!!
At 9:20 the midwife breaks my waters and then we wait again. We’re still in a room at the pregnancy clinic and after about an hour the contractions start (and I suddenly clearly remember what contractions feel like and think oh no why did I ask for contractions!). The contractions quickly become regular and stronger. It’s very warm in the room so I stand by the door farthest from the windows and sunlight. After a couple of hours the midwife checks me and I’m three cm dilated. She asks if I want her to call my midwife and I say yes, even though I’m unsure if it’s too early. My midwife arrives around 13:15 and we move up to the delivery room that’s waiting for us. It really is a reserve/storage room! There is a delivery bed just inside the door and a private toilet, though it’s filled with equipment, but you can just back up to use it. I don’t care about any of that — the only thing that matters is that it’s cool in there because the sun is on the other side of the building (hallelujah!). I lean on my husband during contractions and in one pause I ask him if it hurts when I hang on him. He looks at me strangely and says maybe that’s not what I should be thinking about. I’m so present and involved in everything, unlike my first birth. It’s amazing that I have breaks between contractions where I can actually talk to the midwife and my husband. At one point my midwife tells me that unless I want to give birth standing up I should lie down. I practically jump onto the bed because I absolutely don’t want to give birth standing up. I lie on my side and the contractions are strong, so strong that I scream in pain. I’m surprised by how intense the pushing contractions feel and overwhelmed by them. But it’s also great that I’m fully present and can actually feel the pressure (I couldn’t the first time). However I quickly become afraid the pushing phase will drag on like the first time and I pay close attention to whether he’s moving. I feel like it takes a long time to push him out because I’m nervous, but in reality it takes only 12 minutes from the start of pushing until he’s born. I’m surprised and relieved when he’s born and the midwife asks my husband what time it is because the clock in the room has stopped (!). He was born at about 15:07.
I’m on such a high after the birth because it was an (almost) natural delivery and it went exactly as I dreamed. And of course I’ve gotten a wonderful little son (3410 g and 53 cm). We decide to stay at the hospital for dinner, then drive home to grandma and the proud big brother. At night the four of us sleep together in our bed and I’m so happy it all turned out as I wished and that we could go home immediately, even though it was an induction.